Build Relationships with Frequent Deposits

Authored by: Maren Schmidt

Relationship building is work, and our relationships and the trust in those relationships are in constant change. We maintain and deepen our relationships with regular acts of kindness, consideration, appreciation and service.

Every act of building a relationship is as if we are making a deposit into a savings account. We increase our balance by giving a person a compliment, a kind word or doing a thoughtful deed.

We deplete our relationship accruals by trying to manipulate others, being unkind or discourteous, breaking promises, being self-serving, lying and holding grudges, to name a few types of ''withdrawals.'' When we let our ego, arrogance, pride, impatience, need for control, self-centeredness and need be right become more important than the other person, we'll find ourselves confronted with a severely overdrawn relationship balance. We can bankrupt the relationship by taking more out of the relationship than we put into it.

To maintain a healthy relationship we need to make regular and frequent deposits, preferably daily (that daily interest adds up quickly) into our relationship accounts.

How can we make deposits? ASK. Appreciation. Service. Kindness. Ask yourself, and the other person in the relationship, these questions: What can I do to show you that I appreciate you? How can I serve to enrich your life? How can I show you kindness?